it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
Randomize
