It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize