I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
