Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
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