sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
