Have you finally orgasmed yet?
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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