I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Randomize
