apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
