he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Randomize
