I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
why do cheetos always look like penises
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize
