I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
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