My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
God I need to hump something, right now.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
