Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
Randomize