all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
Randomize
