i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
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