After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
Randomize
