i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
my sisters under your porch take her home
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
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