i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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