I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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