the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
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