So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Randomize
