Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
I want to make a zoo with you.
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
