It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
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