So drunk its hurt
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize
