My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
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