that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
I think I sprained my soul last night
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
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