i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
only if we run a train.
done.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
Randomize
