You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
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