How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
Randomize
