yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
Randomize
