Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
Randomize
