I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
two of my INSANE ex girlfriends just texted me saying their coming over because im home alone. needless to say, im deleting my twitter.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
