he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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