I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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