I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
Randomize
