i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Randomize
