Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
i think i have two assholes
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
