My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
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