i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
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