I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
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