Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
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