Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
Randomize
