yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
Randomize
