4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
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