But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
Randomize
