he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Randomize
