If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
Alive.
So much puke
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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