Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
i think my mom watched the whole time
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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