I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
