i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
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