yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
Randomize
