STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
Randomize
