He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize
