You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
Randomize
