where am i from again
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
Randomize
