It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
