What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
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