I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
